Signs of economic recovery (Green shoots) spotted in West.

In the early hours of the morning Boxty received a surreptious call informing him that devestation had been wrought, via burst pipes, in an area of Mohill town, adjacent to the GAA park (said housing under the control of Leitrim Co.Co.)..
It being before 3am. I felt duty bound to alert Fenagh's most capable man on an occasion such as this, to find the Dauber not only quasi-alert, but formulating plans for the day ahead.
A less than chirpy Boxty boarded the Dauber's Land Cruiser at 7.30am. to view the situation and after much haranguing, pricing and the intervention of a "good friend on the Council" it appears that Dauber is heading the "ERU Team" meaning that the afore-mentioned tiles are now looking like 254m X €20 = €5040..........Happy Days...

Gunner is on the case with regard to the skipped paint....possibilities still alive there yet....
Dauber will, in his own inoffensive way, extort the full toll for duties served, but Leitrim Co.Co. should be thankful to citizens like Dauber and myself for the swiftness of response, the quality of service and promptness of delivery that we can (when everyone else is humming and haawing) provide....

In closing news, after a multiplicty of pints and a goodish share of half-ones in the company of said Dan, my ol' pal, Tommy (the Taxi) Beirne (On a freebie run to the lake and home for Boxty) commented "I've heard ye're on the Gravy Train"......."Truer words were never spoken Taxi" says Boxty, as I stuffed a €50 down his coat pocket....Rash, you may say, in the circumstances, but the "Taxi" gave us a free mini-bus last year on "The Wren Day"...

"If it's not for you it won't get you".....Cracker day all round.....

Hey old timer - is this the only thread you can access on your computer?

Jayo Cluxton wrote:Hey old timer - is this the only thread you can access on your computer?

I find that comment somewhat demeaning, given that, in recent times forumites let the passing of a true legend go un-commented upon...

As pointed out before (on this same thread) the thread is/or should be envisaged as a means to economic success....
I have no compunction whatsoever in leaving/abrocating/or abandoning this forum......it's about where the money is, if you want it....

Education is a great thing, thats no doubt, Herself and Myself managed to pay for 3 through 3rd level, GRANT UNAIDED, the long lad took a trade, and with a wife (well employed plus 2 girls,) is surviving......

Jayo Cluxton wrote:Hey old timer - is this the only thread you can access on your computer?

I feel, that in the light of the aforementioned observation, my time here (what's left of it) is done......
Personally speaking, or typing, I feel the thread reflected an encapsulation/rhetorical image, of a rural Ireland as it once was, or maybe still remains (in the minds of those who inhabit the vision)...
I'm surrounded by a rake of great characters, the likes of Dan the Dauber (A really good oul' buddy), The 4 gallon man, Tommy "Handshaker" Heeran, Tommy the Taxi, amongst a plethora of other cards, all of whom deserve their rightful places immortalised in a tome of some kind, and to that end, I'm having a long think....

No offence taken JC , nor was any intended I don't fear,but your comment triggererd an idea, that, upon mature (Very) reflection, throws me another way...

The best of luck to all forumites and the forum itself for 2011

I knew I'd get ya to write the book!

I'll be looking for a cut and a free copy when you are signing in Easons! But when you get writers block the odd time come on here and we'll free it up!

ps the reason for the 'Hey old timer - is this the only thread you can access on your computer?' is exactly because your posts are so entertaining that I wanted to see more and elsewhere!!

Has Boxty done the "FFM Formula" (Fianna Fail Minister) ?

Late 50's Ministerial penision accrued to date multiplied by estimated years to expiry
Cost of election + cost of pints in pub for punters + cost of going to funerals + reduced opposition salary X risk of losing seat.

If answer is > 0 then head for hills.

Jayo Cluxton wrote:I knew I'd get ya to write the book!

I'll be looking for a cut and a free copy when you are signing in Easons! But when you get writers block the odd time come on here and we'll free it up!

ps the reason for the 'Hey old timer - is this the only thread you can access on your computer?' is exactly because your posts are so entertaining that I wanted to see more and elsewhere!!

i'll second that JC could read Boxtys posts all day

The Dauber was just saying that the entrepreneurial spirit of the parish was at it's lowest level......

Boxtyeater wrote:The Dauber was just saying that the entrepreneurial spirit of the parish was at it's lowest level......

Its nationwide i'm afraid - The collective imagination of the nation appears to be restricted to:

Strictly come dancing GAA fundraisers

Operation Transformation weight loss boot camp challenges

And selling 20 bottles of carlsberg for €15 in the local petrol station in the hope that someone might pick up 20 fags, a few litres of fuel and bottle of lucozade when they call in.

OMAR wrote:

Boxtyeater wrote:The Dauber was just saying that the entrepreneurial spirit of the parish was at it's lowest level......

Its nationwide i'm afraid - The collective imagination of the nation appears to be restricted to:

Strictly come dancing GAA fundraisers

Operation Transformation weight loss boot camp challenges

And selling 20 bottles of carlsberg for €15 in the local petrol station in the hope that someone might pick up 20 fags, a few litres of fuel and bottle of lucozade when they call in.

A valid observation OMAR and I must confess to having outsourced the St.Bridgets Crosses to The Crane for this year for €2k (to include the rushes). On your point of cigarettes and fuel, I must confess to seeking "alternative" sources, but the opportunities of even last year, just don't appear to be there.

There must be something wrong somewhere, when men of my vintage can land this one.

A large retail outlet in the Liffey Valley Business Park is closed pending a re-launch. It needs a complete clean-out (already achieved) a lick of paint to the inside walls, a bit of a re-vamp to the outdoor area and an overall renewal prior to reopening.

8/10 weeks work, paid on the road, with a bonus for early completion......

It's out there......

Boxtyeater wrote:There must be something wrong somewhere, when men of my vintage can land this one.

A large retail outlet in the Liffey Valley Business Park is closed pending a re-launch. It needs a complete clean-out (already achieved) a lick of paint to the inside walls, a bit of a re-vamp to the outdoor area and an overall renewal prior to reopening.

8/10 weeks work, paid on the road, with a bonus for early completion......

It's out there......

 8/10 weeks ? 
Aside from procurement/recruitment policy I would question the sanity of any organisation whose business plan involves closing a shop in a prime retail area for 10 weeks and re-opening a week after christmas.

The viability would indeed concern me but the re-opening date has been moved up to mid-Dec. Meanwhile we're merrily painting away, exchanging banter with English guys who are working at racking who seek our assistance from time to time (more to hear a few lurid yarns no doubt).
We're also in a position to "help them dispose" of unwanted steel frames and warped shelving. 

Dan is in his element, studying plans and offering nuggets of wisdom.....

We're doing something right at least, based on today's events. We're whipped off-site, on the road,
(way ahead lads) and diverted to another store, where our talents were required in the event of the MD arriving Monday to suss the scheme out. Dauber and myself concurred that there was:

i). Pressure on somewhere.
ii). Explotiable.
iii). The panic button had gone off.

Our contact was delighted that we rode with the blows, we put in a big shift,  were supplied with food at lunch time, gobbled it down and masqueraded to be flat out until 16.00 hrs. when yet another Manager-esque figure proclaimed it a miracle.....

The Dauber fired cans of unused paint, the best of Harris brushes and rollers, a Bosch drill-driver and sundry accessories into the van and with a cheery "Best of luck lads" we shot off...

I'm too old for this lark and so is Dan, but the money's great, were managerial and the lads who are doing the heavy lifting are happy with their money and all is good, but between us all, I'd never take this one on again.

But, as Dan said this morning, The Oul' Boxty said, Everywhere you find an ass, ride it.....

We got paid today by a "waste company" for a skipful of unused shevling/brackets/girder type yokes and sundry sh1te. This was by arrangement on our side, truth be told, but the dozy ******* rang the doorbell seeking out the "Disposal Team". Fortunately Dan and I were having a fag, intercepted any authority figures and steered him into the coffee shop across the way.

He was a smartly outfitted lad of about 30, but immediatley fell down for be-sporting a scarf. Now I'm all for scarves in the depths of winter but we were in working gear and in no mood for subserviense.

Dan: Well kiddo, what weight?
Kiddo: Shy of 8 tons but we'll pay for 8 at €50 @ ton.
Dan: Sonny (aggressivley) we'll take it back, 'tis betwixt €70-90 freely available, €100 gettable.
Kiddo: My Boss says he's happy to hel.....
Dan: Fook you and yer' boss (jumps up) "Boxty we're done here".....
Boxty: Calm down Dan. Look kiddo, if this were "off the books"....Boxty makes Haughey-esque-gestures..
Kiddo: Coughs slyly (Boxty knows he has him in the bag).
Dan: Sorted so..8 ton at €70 = €560 + €100 for the Bossman, call it €650 all told.

At bit of a haggle, but he crumbled, €650 in notes. We then slipped a brace of bottles (Hennessy @Jameson) into the Manager's office with the customary wink (acknowledged) and outlined tomorrows work to the remaining troops under our guidance. Dauber and yours truly are getting or hairs cut tomorrow among other nefarious activities

This should, by right be in the "Annoying Issues" thread, but conversley, is suited here.

We're helping refit a big kip in Liffey Valley Shopping Center for a UK outfit. We cleaned the place out structurally wise, repainted and re-aligned the warehouse. So good, the Manager-lad gave us a day off last week. We were tipping away early in the week, waiting for the "planogram" (my arxe), keeping the heads low and looking busy, as about 12 of them farted around with plans and opinions.

"All that outside ring racking and spines need to be white" declares the Messiah (grey as per last plan).

This would involve de-racking about 500m of bolted grey spines and ensuing backboards (3 days) and replacing with white, but not our fault.
Gotcha says I, as I nodded at Dan for a smoke.

Dauber: This is bullshit Boxty, not our fault.
Boxty: Cool Dan, gimme a minute with the Manager. What if we take off the top panels all round.
Dauber: And what......
Boxty: Spray paint the tops of the spines white and re-panel with white panelling, no disturbance.

Dan and myself approached the Manager with the idea (this cock-up will destroy your budget but we think..)
Jesus lads, what a fookin' plan...
Coughs and heavy sighs all round.....

He shyly coughed, opened a drawer and produced a bottle - All sorted and home at 5.30. Job done.

Of course we'll be there till Tuesday doing it "as per plan".

Boxtyeater wrote:This should, by right be in the "Annoying Issues" thread, but conversley, is suited here.

We're helping refit a big kip in Liffey Valley Shopping Center for a UK outfit. We cleaned the place out structurally wise, repainted and re-aligned the warehouse. So good, the Manager-lad gave us a day off last week. We were tipping away early in the week, waiting for the "planogram" (my arxe), keeping the heads low and looking busy, as about 12 of them farted around with plans and opinions.

"All that outside ring racking and spines need to be white" declares the Messiah (grey as per last plan).

This would involve de-racking about 500m of bolted grey spines and ensuing backboards (3 days) and replacing with white, but not our fault.
Gotcha says I, as I nodded at Dan for a smoke.

Dauber: This is bullshit Boxty, not our fault.
Boxty: Cool Dan, gimme a minute with the Manager. What if we take off the top panels all round.
Dauber: And what......
Boxty: Spray paint the tops of the spines white and re-panel with white panelling, no disturbance.

Dan and myself approached the Manager with the idea (this cock-up will destroy your budget but we think..)
Jesus lads, what a fookin' plan...
Coughs and heavy sighs all round.....

He shyly coughed, opened a drawer and produced a bottle - All sorted and home at 5.30. Job done.

Of course we'll be there till Tuesday doing it "as per plan".

as the saying goes, "every day is a school day" and that certainly rings true when its the Boxty boy your dealing with    

Come on Omar, how many of the 14 excesses on this list did you tick off?….

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Jaysus but we (some of them) knew how to make eejits out of themselves. The Dauber's purchase of the famous Land Cruiser/Monkey suit didn't make the list I note.
I must compile a list of notable local buffoonery sometime.

Thomas Clarke wrote:Come on Omar, how many of the 14 excesses on this list did you tick off?….

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read that same article yesterday TC and had to laugh at some of them, did folk never think that some day all of this was going to have to be paid back!!!!

Problem is all of us are paying for it now

Thomas Clarke wrote:Come on Omar, how many of the 14 excesses on this list did you tick off?….

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Not too many but for the ones where the response is positve my problem is that Mrs. Omar does not seem to be aware that the tiger has met his demise.

New York shopping trips on my credit card ticking two boxes in just one recent weekend.(hers being at 110% of its limit)

The Dauber called it "The Winter in Dublin" experience and by God he wasn't wrong. You can gather from this opening comment that our cameo appearance as "Shop-fitters and Disposal Experts" has ended.
Ended rather well in fact, as we were handed a bonus on completion cheque for €10k yesterday to, in the words of the Manager, "look after your own lads"....
In a fit of magnaminity Dan and Boxty shared €6k and we are in the process of divvying out the rest.

A number of points have crossed our minds.

i).These UK companies have a fierce layer of Management/Consultants/Experts/Dickheads. The interior lay-out was changed on numerous occasions. We'd complete the required work (all artificial walls made with steel spines and panelling) only to see it moved 2 meters a week later. No problem, we're getting paid....

ii). There must be massive profit in the DIY sector. Semi-tarnished stock received from other store closures was deemed unfit for purpose and discarded. By discarded I mean thrown in the skip. Needless to say, any redeemable/saleable/untraceable items like drills, power washers or sundry useables were "re-located"

iii). It was gas heading to LIDL in the morning to get rolls/milk/pastries. A queue outside of "likely lads" waiting for the 10.30 opening time at the offie and a rush for Galahad lager.....Pathetic.

iv). The lower middle-management rank of these stores seem populated by jumped up little Hitler type gimps who glow in the ranks of authority figures. Distainful of outside contractors, they fairly abuse their minions who seem to be in awe of them. A young lad, a beginner I'm sure, drove a fork-lift straight through a pallet of paint, about half-way down the pallet the other day. Talk about a bollocking.....Dauber calmed matters before there were blows involving 4 of them.

v). I'm officially a man of leisure again. Given the list of "to do" items here in the house I'm on the look-out already. On the bright side, I'm now possessed of such an array of power tool equipment I may consider a new enterprise.

Boxtyeater wrote:The Dauber called it "The Winter in Dublin" experience and by God he wasn't wrong. You can gather from this opening comment that our cameo appearance as "Shop-fitters and Disposal Experts" has ended.
Ended rather well in fact, as we were handed a bonus on completion cheque for €10k yesterday to, in the words of the Manager, "look after your own lads"....
In a fit of magnaminity Dan and Boxty shared €6k and we are in the process of divvying out the rest.

A number of points have crossed our minds.

i).These UK companies have a fierce layer of Management/Consultants/Experts/Dickheads. The interior lay-out was changed on numerous occasions. We'd complete the required work (all artificial walls made with steel spines and panelling) only to see it moved 2 meters a week later. No problem, we're getting paid....

ii). There must be massive profit in the DIY sector. Semi-tarnished stock received from other store closures was deemed unfit for purpose and discarded. By discarded I mean thrown in the skip. Needless to say, any redeemable/saleable/untraceable items like drills, power washers or sundry useables were "re-located"

iii). It was gas heading to LIDL in the morning to get rolls/milk/pastries. A queue outside of "likely lads" waiting for the 10.30 opening time at the offie and a rush for Galahad lager.....Pathetic.

iv). The lower middle-management rank of these stores seem populated by jumped up little Hitler type gimps who glow in the ranks of authority figures. Distainful of outside contractors, they fairly abuse their minions who seem to be in awe of them. A young lad, a beginner I'm sure, drove a fork-lift straight through a pallet of paint, about half-way down the pallet the other day. Talk about a bollocking.....Dauber calmed matters before there were blows involving 4 of them.

v). I'm officially a man of leisure again. Given the list of "to do" items here in the house I'm on the look-out already. On the bright side, I'm now possessed of such an array of power tool equipment I may consider a new enterprise.

This is a particular bug-bear of mine- 
Short-sleeved shirts - polyester tie  a clipboard - and a bunch of keys festooned to his hip.
Delights in disciplining staff in front of customers - comes up with strategic gems like - let's swap the stack of Ronseal fencelife with the weed&green and then swaps them back the next day. 
Reprehensible creatures