Boxty Renounces Leitrim

In a quite extraordinary and sensational move the legendary Boxtyeater has renounced his Leitrim roots! The move is thought to be fuelled by his lack of confidence in his charges this year as well as his attempted foray into foreign markets.

GAA Fan first noticed the denouncement when the Boxtyman took away his Leitrim green colouring on his username. "I was shocked" said the urbane mod, "Your colour here is your all - it is like the county jersey. To revert to type - eh ordinary type - is the classical denial of one's roots."

OMAR said "I have been providing my client with international trading advice for a while now. I did suggest that a Leitrim address was not going to cut it and suggested he needed to be closer to Moscow than Mohill."

Black&white said "Unless you pay me €200 I have no comment to make."

Mullins was also retrospect, saying "I did have a business call from a Shannonsider looking for me to provide him with a Dublin address. As a model citizen I was concerned about the potential tax implications."

The Mayor of Fenagh said the situation was delicate but that the UN had been informed and had offered mediation services.

Boxty is just being the cute Leitrim hoor..Taking the pressure of his county because he knows they have the easy side of the draw for once....For godsake if Wickla was in connacht i would be tipping them to reach a final in september...

Not being accustomed to the use of laptops on foreign business ventures, I was forced to seek the Crane's assistance on a recent junket, as I tried to access a valuable advisor and confidant (who happens to be a member of this forum)

The bugger, in the process of upgrading us to business class for the return flight from Kiev, must have somehow accessed my profile and effected the change which I've only noticed..

Perhaps some techie at GAATipster Towers can rectify this matter as I may corrupt the entire system. I'm in sore need at the minute of access to all forms of communication, e-mail, postal, fax, telephone etc., as there's rather a lot of issues coming to the boil nicely and the hay-making season only around the corner...

There's little fear of the Mayor of Fenagh. His brother (The portly Councillor) assured me in the town this evening "that there's horrid expenses involved in being a member of the Oireachtas"----end of quote from Cllr.Ellis...*

* From the Boxty perspective they're nearly as high for a local councillor or indeed a fledgling export executive...

Boxty, if ever there was a time to convert to Mayoism, it's now.....

EstherMayo1951 wrote:Boxty, if ever there was a time to convert to Mayoism, it's now.....

especially with this lovely new website they've got!

SamiPremier08 wrote:

EstherMayo1951 wrote:Boxty, if ever there was a time to convert to Mayoism, it's now.....

especially with this lovely new website they've got!

Exactly Sami!

In breaking news ....
a flotilla of 'import-laden' (no relation to Osama Bin) ships from Eastern Europe with humanitarian aid have been boarded on the Shannon near Carrick by members of the Dromahair FCA. A local man has been taken in for questioning as well as two foreign nationals.

It is thought that the local man - named only as Mr B - was attempting to fill the vacuum left by head shop closures by importing 'substitute' goods. A large potato refining facility was also discovered nearby. Mr B has maintained that this was in respect of the making of an indigenous potato-based product. However the discovery of thousands of Smirnoff labels and the involvement of a couple of Russian gents has poured cold (and distilled) water over this story.

A number of St Brigids Crosses have also been confiscated in the ongoing operation.

It was noted on last nights new that the Flotilla included a consignment of Cement which clearly originated in the west cavan region. It has been suggested that the flotilla does not contain humanitarian supplies and is not bound for the Gaza strip.
Sceptics have suggested that the entire project is the brain child of a consortium of business men from the shannon erne region. It has been rumoured that the shipment is comprised of the produce of various fledgling exporters from same region and that the shipment is in fact destined for the Israel market, however seizure of the goods by Israeli commandos actually is a ruse to by-pass customs and related tarifs.

A spokesman for the group has comfirmed that all the goods including the Bridgids crosses are strictly Kosher.

OMAR wrote:It was noted on last nights new that the Flotilla included a consignment of Cement which clearly originated in the west cavan region. It has been suggested that the flotilla does not contain humanitarian supplies and is not bound for the Gaza strip.
Sceptics have suggested that the entire project is the brain child of a consortium of business men from the shannon erne region. It has been rumoured that the shipment is comprised of the produce of various fledgling exporters from same region and that the shipment is in fact destined for the Israel market, however seizure of the goods by Israeli commandos actually is a ruse to by-pass customs and related tarifs.

A spokesman for the group has comfirmed that all the goods including the Bridgids crosses are strictly Kosher.

#Top marks, totally kosher

Indeed such is the success of the Boxty product in Israel
Boxty is planning a pilgrimigge tour to south Leitrim
Fenagh has been re-christened a "Mecca for Jewish Boxty Lovers".

Gardai have released some of the contraband destined for foreign shores. In particular they are interested in a huge amount of wrapping and packaging which has left them bamboozled. All packaging has the St Brigids Cross and labelling which says 'Junior Boxty's Best'. They are especially puzzled by the different varieties of the boxty product and have given samples of the wrapping. These include the Gaza Strip, the Fenagh Filler, the Hamas Humdinger and the Jerusalem Jumbo ....

As Boxtyeater was lighting up a duty free fag this evening at the edge of Ballinamore's Financial District, whom should he spy exiting the main banking building but a clearly inebriated Junior in the company of a dude in a suit...

The pair trod along to a nearby food and drink emporium, followed at a more leisurely gait by Boxty.
Upon entry, Boxty observed Junior procuring not one, but two G&T's for himself and what transpired to be the local (if new) Bank Manager from a monster roll of €50 notes.....Something very amiss here Boxty thinks...

Howya's lads goes Boxty...what's all this about then???
Mortification sets in when Junior bursts out into a flood of tears....The smoking room barks Boxty....

In a tearful confession Junior confirms that he had received by international wire transfer €2k. from his buddy, the aforementioned Boris, to expedite the processing and delivery of our initial end of the agreement...As he regained a modicum of composure and noted the temper vein throbbing in my temple, he then told me that the payment was a contribution toward our expenses and that the upgrading of our return flights had been ordered and sponsored by Boris...

Grabbing the initiative I quickly stuck out my paw and instructed a trembling Junior to "peel"..
While being grateful to Junior for his assistance while in Kiev and his useful contacts there I felt he had over-stepped the mark, but being a merciful man I gave him back €200 (He has a family after all) and pocketed the €1,800 myself.

The Bank thief probably paid for the G&T's after, but in the spirit of Glasnost, I put Junior's motor bike into the hardware yard and gave him a lift home, where I glared sullenly at his lovely family and left the explanations to himself...

Moral learned...these bucko's are quick on the uptake but never try to cod a codder....

Boxty while I appreciate you have been around the block a few times and are no daw - sure you got some free advice from a few on here that wouldn't whip out a calculator for less than €200 - you are moving into unknown territory here. Your potential business partners will be familiar with all sorts of practices and if you are not properly advised you may well end up filling your boots - but with that concrete! And living in lake land may not be too good either.

I can only refer you to Jason Cluxton's company Omerta Inc - with branches in North Inner City Dublin, Limerick, Crossmaglen, Sicily, Naples and Moscow. They have been advising clients for many years now and are specialists in shoplifting shopfitting, laundering and red tape removal. This fine outfit also boasts the finest secretaries and escorts that an ageing businessman could need. Rates are very competitive and the agency lives or dies by the slogan 'If in doubt, take him out.'

I've just remembered the famous "Export Credit Scheme" where the Government guarantees the payment from overseas nations.....

Albert's number anyone..

Boxtyeater wrote:

I've just remembered the famous "Export Credit Scheme" where the Government guarantees the payment from overseas nations.....

Albert's number anyone..

I don't - try the Larrys


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