Accountants.... you can't bring them anywhere

Some of the fine alumni of KPMG's Dublin office at the Australian Open yesterday. They managed to get themselves mentioned on numerous news broadcasts yesterday, even Fox News.
Good to see that they're having a productive trip

Q. Why did the Accountant cross the road?
A. To bore the people on the other side!



Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.



Q. Why do audit firms only have 10 minute coffee breaks?
A. If the breaks were longer, they'd have to retrain all the staff.



Q. What does an accountant use for birth control?
A. His personality.



Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and an honest accountant are locked in an office with a bag full of cash: €1,000,000 in small bills.
Q. What happens?
A. Nothing, they are all fictional characters.

The face on the man in the hat looking at them.

They should be shot with a ball of their own dung

Ruanua wrote:They should be shot with a ball of their own dung

The guys above or accountants in general Rua?

ps Are these Irish accountants cheering for Andy Murray?

Jayo Cluxton wrote:

Ruanua wrote:They should be shot with a ball of their own dung

The guys above or accountants in general Rua?

ps Are these Irish accountants cheering for Andy Murray?

The guys above for the shooting.

Maximitosis or something might be more suitable for the wider accountant population
Note my definition of accountant though is someone who choses to remain in that profession by choice - rather than those ended up doing it in school by accident and then copped on and got a real job !!

I have the sound off on the laptop so not sure who they were shouting for -
How could anyone shout for Murray - And its not an Anti-British thing its just Murray FFS.

I'm just surprised they loosened up enough to sing an 'oul song..

Ruanua wrote:
those ended up doing it in school by accident and then copped on and got a real job

How could anyone shout for Murray - And its not an Anti-British thing its just Murray FFS.

All of the above lads have copped on and are trying to find real jobs! Life in an accounting practice is grand for the first 3 years. Once the training is finished and people of your own vintage start to move to pastures green, then it's time to get looking for a real job.

And the lads were mainly shouting/singing at Murray's girlfriend......... and mother.

B&W

My definition of a real job isn't passing their exams getting €10k on the credit Cord off daddy dearest and heading to OZ for a year.

Ruanua wrote:B&W

My definition of a real job isn't passing their exams getting €10k on the credit Cord off daddy dearest and heading to OZ for a year.

Three of the lads pictured are working for Citibank in Sydney, with the other two in other financial institutions. Strange as it may seem, not all of us are part of (or aspirant to-) the D4 gang, and are quite used to looking after ourselves and paying our own way.

black&white wrote:Strange as it may seem, not all of us are part of (or aspirant to-) the D4 gang, and are quite used to looking after ourselves and paying our own way.

Fair enough black and white - Don't know them so won't comment further.
- Presume that some of them are ex college mates of yours - at a guess thats probably an M-ACC in UCD.

back in my day (different firm about 500 yards further south) the majority of the intake were from rugby schools and drove mummys car to work. Got the exams - got a nice big bonus from daddy and went backpacking for 6 months before coming back and getting a handy number in the IFSC through one of daddys rugby contacts.
Realise things have moved on so apologies for generalising !

Ruanua wrote:Fair enough black and white - Don't know them so won't comment further.
- Presume that some of them are ex college mates of yours - at a guess thats probably an M-ACC in UCD.

back in my day (different firm about 500 yards further south) the majority of the intake were from rugby schools and drove mummys car to work. Got the exams - got a nice big bonus from daddy and went backpacking for 6 months before coming back and getting a handy number in the IFSC through one of daddys rugby contacts.
Realise things have moved on so apologies for generalising !

No worries at all rua.
The D4/rugby element is still there, but not in such great numbers. Prob about 25-35% of each intake would still be of that background, but the majority of the intake are from outside the capital. One of the lads was in college with me (M.Acc, but a lot further west than UCD ) and lived with me for the last 3 years, hence knowing the other lads.

Murray 2 sets up and 2-0 up in third set. Nadal just had treatment for a knee injury!

Are those accountants there to offer advice on what he should do with his €255,000 prize money for reaching a semi? If so they should note he's a Scotsman ...

Murray 6-3 7-6 (7-2) 3-0* Nadal

Nadal has a look at the old scoreboard - decides his knee is at him and retires hurt ....

Game, set and match to Murray.

Bookie Fix (two and half nil)

Jayo Cluxton wrote:Murray 2 sets up and 2-0 up in third set. Nadal just had treatment for a knee injury!

Are those accountants there to offer advice on what he should do with his €255,000 prize money for reaching a semi? If so they should note he's a Scotsman ...

Yup, €150k of it will be stashed safely under the Murray bed, whilst the rest will be the bill for "advice, consultancy and other professional services."