You know you're on study leave when...

...the weather decides to be uncharacteristically brilliant because you have to stay indoors all day working.

...you have no social life.

...you can barely remember the good old days when weekends and holidays were schoolwork-free.

....television programmes that you had absolutely no interest in such as The Jeremy Kyle Show have become essential viewing.

...breaks from study are essential. Every 5 minutes.

...work will start at 9. Work will start at 9.30. Work will start at 10. And so on.

...you've eaten more food in one day than you thought humanly possible, but have failed to eat a substantial meal.

...you've had to accept that staring at the same page of a book for three hours does not count as effective revision.

...the day is spent trawling the web and constantly pressing refresh on Facebook whilst you're supposed to be doing revision.

...despite the bid to avoid any distractions from school work, you've become very good at 'Wone2' on addictinggames.com

...you are literally drowning in books, guides, past exams and various other bits of paper you have no intention of ever looking at.

...'lunch hour' is 3 hours long.

...throughout the day you accumulate a total of about 20 minute's worth of actual work.

...you spend hours gazing at your exam timetable working out a clear and concise plan, based on upcoming exams, hours remaining etc, on how to format your revision.

...this plan is completely ignored.

...the prospect of revising stuff you know inside out is much more attractive than revising stuff you don't actually know. Therefore the whole study leave seems rather pointless.

...you really begin to appreciate the radio.

...if anyone else younger than you begins to complain about 'having too much homework' you have to restrain yourself from throttling them.

...TV and food is not scheduled around study. Study is scheduled around TV and food.

...there's never anything good on daytime TV, so you are slowly watching your way through your DVD collection.

...The Very Best of Father Ted is deemed an appropriate form of Religious Education revision.

...nothing has ever seemed so long and tedious as the countdown until the end of exams.

...you have already accepted that any exam after June 11th will not be properly prepared for due to much more important priorities such as Japan vs. Camerooon.

...this summer is hyped to be the 'best summer ever'.

...all the fuss now is quite ironic, because these exams will seem a walk in the park compared to the ones coming up.

...you are spending precious time which could be spent studying, composing a pointless post that nobody will care about on a GAA forum!

Sami, you forgot this one -

......you have loads of time to download music without paying for it!

The lucky feckers in our place that are sitting their accountancy finals this year went off on study leave today. The exams don't start until the 30th August!

I sat mine two years ago, and still have fond memories of the summer of study leave.

June passes in a daze, you take time to get your notes in proper order, and spent countless hours trying to track down the notes belonging to that girl in insurance that placed last year. If you've been sensible enough to save up some cash, you'll head off to the sun for a week or two. I'd just bought my first car, so instead spent the weeks learning to drive, and then passing my test (4 weeks after I first drove).

The first week of July bring about the mocks. They're a mockery. Technically you're supposed to be within 10% of a passing grade to be allowed to sit the finals (pass is 50%, so you need 40). Approx 93% of students fail to reach 40% (on account of having beautifully prepared notes, which haven't been studied), so instead their firms will write to the Institute for "special dispensation." Seeing as how the Institute is eager for more fee-paying members, they oblige.
The mocks comprise of 5 four-hour exams spread over 4 days. Seeing as how nobody has studies, most peodle simply go in, write their names on the paper, and spend the first two hours copying paragraphs from their notes (the exams are open book). Then you go to the pub for the afternoon.

After the stress of the mocks, you obviously need a week to recover, so no study is done in the 2nd week of July.
Studuy begins in earnest in the 3rd week of July, as panic finally begins to set in. This is the point when the libraries of UCD, UCC and NUIG become filled with accountants, using somebody else's swipe card. This heavy studying lasts until the Tuesday or Wednesday of the following week, when everybody decamps to Galway for the Races. This is useful as it allows you to swap stories of how little you have done with other students, but also allows you to brag about how many folders of notes you already have (it doesn't matter how good they are, volume is all that matters).
The races carry through the August Bank Holiday, and on the Tuesday the real panic hits. "What the f*ck did I do for last two months?" becomes a common refrain.
A minimum of 12 hours a day is spent doing exam questions, re-organising and tabbing notes, and generally cramming. At least twice a week there will be some form of mental breakdown as the stress becomes too much. One lunchtime you will make the mistake of talking to the guy from Deloitte/KPMG/EY who is repeating 2/3 subjects, and you spend the next 48 hours thinking, "That could be me!"
The exams start on a Tuesday, and the week becomes a blur of panic, sore wrists(from writing, you dirty-minded feckers!), clacking calculators, suitcases of books/notes, and sleep deprivation.
At least 5% of the girls in each exam will break down in tears. You will feel like doing it in at least 2 of them, when the realisation that a fail will cost you up to €15k over the next year really starts to sink home.
Despite all advice to the contrary, you hang around every exam talking to people about the paper, and become acutely aware of what you've buggered up (a lot!), and blank out everything that you actually did right (more than you let yourself think).
By Friday you're running on adrenaline, and as the final exam draws to a close you can nearly smell the pints across the road in Paddy Cullens. The Friday night becomes a night of drunken debauchery as you treck form Cullens to Diceys, and Diceys to Coppers. Somewhere along the way notes/books are deposited in someone's apartment, hopefully never to be seen again. The rule "no exam talk" is set early in procedings, and then roundly ignored throughout the night.
Friday blends into Saturday as another day of beckons. Again Coppers is overwhelmed by accountants (TBH just like every other Saturday night), but by the time you get there the queue will be so big that you settle for D2. It's not like you'll remember much of it anyway.
After the weekend comes the much vaunted FAE holiday, which typically lasts 3-4 weeks. Destinations are usually a trip around California, or South-East Asia. This will be paid fr by credit card, which will in turn be paid off by the bonus for passing the exams (hopefully!).
Then comes the long wait for the first Friday in November........... judgement day.
You go out the Thursday night (just in case), and nerves mean that you end up in a state after the first four drinks. You don't fully know how you get home, but what's for sure is, you're sitting with a laptop at 6.30am, still drunk, furiously hitting F5 on the ICAI homepage waiting for the results.
At some time between 6.45 and 7am the results list appears. You furiously scroll down the list looking for your name. When you find your name, you then double and triple check to make sure it's on the pass list, and not the credit list (pass some, but not all subjects). After confirming that you have indeed passed you move onto some cloud of elation, and start to check for your friends and colleagues. As you find name after name you start sending congratulatory texts, or making calls to the most important few. You note the names you recognise on the credit list, and those that you haven't managed to find.
Usually at this point, the ICAI website will crash due to the volume of traffic, and panicked friends will call asking you to check the page for them. You pray that you find them on the pass list.
As the initial excitement wears off, the gossiping commences. Lists will be checked and rechecked for missing names, nad texts begin to fly; "Did you hear about so-and-so. So tough on them" and the like.
Around lunch time you head into the office for a celebratory lunch. The firm will lay on a fancy meal with drink for everybody who passed. Those who passed on the first attempts are giving their bonus cheques, as are those who placed in the top ten. Most people are tipsy by the end of lunch. Venues are decided for the rest of the day, and the second half of one of the best days of your life decends into one long drunken haze............... (just make sure to lodge the cheque immediately after lunch!)

Thanks for the life story B&W!
I can see why they say accountants are boring

I agree with the analysis of the exam right after having sat it - I hate that! Takes any confidence you may have had of doing well away!

SamiPremier08 wrote:Thanks for the life story B&W!
I can see why they say accountants are boring

I agree with the analysis of the exam right after having sat it - I hate that! Takes any confidence you may have had of doing well away!

I'm just bitter because I'm stuck in the office working for the summer, and the other feckers are off having the life of riley!

SamiPremier08 wrote:Thanks for the life story B&W!
I can see why they say accountants are boring

I agree with the analysis of the exam right after having sat it - I hate that! Takes any confidence you may have had of doing well away!

Indeed they are Sami
Though do you know any Actuaries
They are the only people that Accountants can tell boring jokes about

Finished!

Good post b&w - and a wonderful insight into what makes the end product we have all come to know ....... and love ...

Good stuff Sami and BnW. Really enjoyed both posts.

It's funny how your promise to "never ever ever do another exam again" quickly fades over time. Last week I found myself contemplating doing another one! I soon copped on though

Jayo Cluxton wrote:Good post b&w - and a wonderful insight into what makes the end product we have all come to know ....... and love ...

+1...Mercifully I've never been stressed to that degree by any exams.

My only memorable exam was the Primary Cert. A pal and I were cycling the 4 or 5 miles to it, when a dog "tore lumps" off his leg. A local man informed the school of the situation and the exam was delayed for an hour....The stress....Boxty had visions of an irate Boxty Mór being unhappy.....

Not a study person meself at all, could never apply meself - just a graduate of the school of life. I've met people with degrees coming out their behinds and they as thick as two short planks. Tis a fine line. A large degree of cop is the most important ingredient at the end of the day ... without that no Phd, Masters etc is worth a hill of beans tbh!

Jayo Cluxton wrote:Not a study person meself at all, could never apply meself - just a graduate of the school of life. I've met people with degrees coming out their behinds and they as thick as two short planks. Tis a fine line. A large degree of cop is the most important ingredient at the end of the day ... without that no Phd, Masters etc is worth a hill of beans tbh!

Well said!
Far too many of the new recruits into our place each year are sadly lacking in that one vital commodity. Usually takes a couple of months to identify which ones, but once they're spotted they suddenly seem to become a whole lot less busy.

Boxtyeater wrote:

Jayo Cluxton wrote:Good post b&w - and a wonderful insight into what makes the end product we have all come to know ....... and love ...

+1...Mercifully I've never been stressed to that degree by any exams.

My only memorable exam was the Primary Cert. A pal and I were cycling the 4 or 5 miles to it, when a dog "tore lumps" off his leg. A local man informed the school of the situation and the exam was delayed for an hour....The stress....Boxty had visions of an irate Boxty Mór being unhappy.....

Good people all, of every sort,
Give ear unto my song;
And if you find it wondrous short,
It cannot hold you long.

In Islington there was a man
Of whom the world might say,
That still a godly race he ran—
Whene'er he went to pray.

A kind and gentle heart he had,
To comfort friends and foes;
The naked every day he clad—
When he put on his clothes.

And in that town a dog was found,
As many dogs there be,
Both mongrel, puppy, whelp, and hound,
And curs of low degree.

This dog and man at first were friends;
But when a pique began,
The dog, to gain some private ends,
Went mad, and bit the man.

Around from all the neighbouring streets
The wond'ring neighbours ran,
And swore the dog had lost its wits
To bite so good a man.

The wound it seemed both sore and sad
To every Christian eye;
And while they swore the dog was mad,
They swore the man would die.

But soon a wonder came to light
That showed the rogues they lied,—
The man recovered of the bite,
The dog it was that died!

great post Sami and B&W - like JC i never was one for studying and exams etc would make any excuse not too study - i did my fair share of them though and got through them somehow but i agree with JC on the amount of people who have more letters after the name than i have had hot dinners and yet they could barely tie their own shoe laces - makes you wonder sometimes.

I work predominantly within education (and no i am not a teacher) and yet the amount of stupid teachers i meet never ceases to amaze me - like the one who rung me one day and told me her computer wasn't working - when i quizzed her further i discovered there was a thunder storm outside which had knocked out the electric and yet she couldnt understand why the computer wasnt working

Never really got a grip of the academic side of things myself
Was reasonably diligent at primary school but once I got into secondary I slid down the "rankings" year on year -generally would copy some lads Maths homework during RK class etc.
Had an OK inter cert and a poor leaving cert with my only two decent grades coming in Geography and Home economics - neither of which were subjects I had gone to class on - sat them for the heck of it. Didn't go to University but did a business studies course in an RTC. ended up bluffing my way as far as third year without much effort but failed third year and the repeats fairly miserably in a hazy alchohol fuelled summer.

Ended up working in a London pub for year doing 100 hour weeks for £120 live in. To be honest that focussed the mind came back to Ireland a year later and finished the business studies course. Via a fairly scenic route ended up doing the exams that B&W mentions above. Though to be honest I didn't have same study leave etc - I spent 3 weeks doing nothing but past papers for 4/5 hours a day and I'd say just about got through by the skin of my teeth. Remember there was an Ashes tour that year and I developed an unhealthy love of Cricket and cutting my parents lawn every second day.
After that Ive found that being street smart tends to be a much better attribute. No point in doing 70/80 hour weeks for the sake of it - its more a case of knowing when the right time is to put in a bit extra.

Although at the same time where I work at least eight of the most senior people have done the exams to which B&W refers and six of those have trained in what I suspect is the same firm. So to sum up I think you need a bit of both.

OMAR wrote:Never really got a grip of the academic side of things myself
Was reasonably diligent at primary school but once I got into secondary I slid down the "rankings" year on year -generally would copy some lads Maths homework during RK class etc.
Had an OK inter cert and a poor leaving cert with my only two decent grades coming in Geography and Home economics - neither of which were subjects I had gone to class on - sat them for the heck of it. Didn't go to University but did a business studies course in an RTC. ended up bluffing my way as far as third year without much effort but failed third year and the repeats fairly miserably in a hazy alchohol fuelled summer.

Ended up working in a London pub for year doing 100 hour weeks for £120 live in. To be honest that focussed the mind came back to Ireland a year later and finished the business studies course. Via a fairly scenic route ended up doing the exams that B&W mentions above. Though to be honest I didn't have same study leave etc - I spent 3 weeks doing nothing but past papers for 4/5 hours a day and I'd say just about got through by the skin of my teeth. Remember there was an Ashes tour that year and I developed an unhealthy love of Cricket and cutting my parents lawn every second day.
After that Ive found that being street smart tends to be a much better attribute. No point in doing 70/80 hour weeks for the sake of it - its more a case of knowing when the right time is to put in a bit extra.

Although at the same time where I work at least eight of the most senior people have done the exams to which B&W refers and six of those have trained in what I suspect is the same firm. So to sum up I think you need a bit of both.

You don't fancy passing that message on to some of the managers in here!?!

You don't fancy passing that message on to some of the managers in here!?!
_____________
Don't know any of the managers but I know KE so I'll drop him a note letting him know that the sligo lads are unhappy at having to spend an extra hours 4/5 a day posting on GT

OMAR wrote:You don't fancy passing that message on to some of the managers in here!?!
_____________
Don't know any of the managers but I know KE so I'll drop him a note letting him know that the sligo lads are unhappy at having to spend an extra hours 4/5 a day posting on GT

Sounds good! I'm sure KFE will sort something out for us

At least the hours shouldn't be an issue for the summer, large listed client reported a few weeks ago, hence I'm back posting again!

Question 5 of a 3 hour exam... Crossed blurry eyes barely able to see the clock at the front of the hall. Back aching from leaning over the desk. Bottle of water and packet of mints remain untouched on the floor beside the seat as always. Massage the muscle in the writing hand and prepare it for the final half hour of frantic scrawling. Look back at page one and marvel at how neat the handwriting was way back then. Glance back at the clock and make the false promise you'll leave five minutes at the end to look back over what you have written. On your left is the girl going onto her third answer booklet. On the right is the guy who is doodling on his exam paper with the answer booklet long since abandoned. Hardest essay question left until last. You only know about 3 sentences worth of relevant material. Summon up your energy reserves, dig into the vocabulary for the long winded method of writing even a simple sentence and let the waffle flow from your brain to the page..

My questions yesterday were

1. What research methods can be used to measure child development.
2. Describe the function and nature of REM sleep.
3. Describe the functions of the limbic system and the thalamus.
4. Motivational factors that influence us to drink in relation to osometric and volumetric thirst.

Jonsmith wrote:dig into the vocabulary for the long winded method of writing even a simple sentence and let the waffle flow from your brain to the page..

God I can't understand anyone doing that ....

Jayo Cluxton wrote:

Jonsmith wrote:dig into the vocabulary for the long winded method of writing even a simple sentence and let the waffle flow from your brain to the page..

God I can't understand anyone doing that ....

It's common final question procedure Jayo.. Only used for examinations... Of course...

Jonsmith wrote: packet of mints remain untouched on the floor beside the seat as always.

you're allowed mints in exams? what is this?

Well your allowed any form of quiet small snack into any exam I've sat Sami.. Not the same across the pond no?