Mayo in all its Glory

Mayo Third largest County in terms of Area in Ireland Situated on the west coast. The former Largest town and Capital was Ballina until Pee Flyn came into power and closed off Ballina to the general public. The largest town and capital of course now is Castlebar.


Polictical Life in Mayo
Birth place of Irelands most famous and legitimate politicians such as Pee Flynn, Beverley Flynn and of course Charlie Haughey.




Numerous fundraisers were held when it turned out Pee Flynn had financial difficulties in Keeping a House in Castlebar, Dublin and Brussels on his Dail Penion and EU commisioner salary numerous rallies were held in the Castlebar area. This really brought the community together and such was Pee Flynns class he turned up in person to collect the check off us before returning to his Holiday home in Florida. We have of course not escaped political skulduggerry it is also the birthplace of Mary Robinson and Michael Davitt but we wont go into much detail on them to spare embaressment. Of Course i couldnt forget our next Taoiseach man of the people Enda Kenny and his partner and next Taisnaiste Michael Ring. Set to Lead Ireland out of economic dificulty and into Bankrupcy. Where would Ireland be today without the political influence of Mayo

Tune in Next week Economic activity of Mayo

Galway is bigger though ....

Also famous for

1. The mayo clinic - a Not for profit health organisation and considered one of the best hospitals in the world

2. A salad dressing made from eggs and oil (hellmans being a popular example)

Economy in Mayo

A recent technology boom, focusing on the production of fire, wheels and wooden poking instruments, has lifted employment in the once impoverished economy. Centred mainly in the high-rise metropolis districts of Castlebar and Ballina, these industrial development has changed the face not only of these regions but many out-lying areas also.

Other major employment for Mayo people is the Gardai with Mayo men in positions of power all through out the country (Most notable in Donegal)


Unemployment now runs at a record low of 84.3% of males over 16. Women are disallowed from ordinary paid employment. Sex, discovered by two cousins during a farming accident last year, provides the only source of income for many.

The women of Mayo are notoriously easy (not on the eye) and frequently attend Copper Face Jacks in Dublin looking for some "Wavin". The men of the country are mostly sleazy men who sit at the bar wearing leather jackets commenting on the amount of 'young talent' there is to be found.

Father Jack used to have a term for Mayo people.. What was it again....

Carry on Peter, good summations thus far....Gas people as this pic demonstrates...I hope the brother hadn't to clout a neighbour or worse still, a relation...

Geography and in fastructureof Mayo

It was decided that Mayo was to be omitted from the OSD maps as it was the only communist state remaining in Ireland after 1999. It is ruled over by the tyrannical dictator Enda Kenny who has held Mayo in his brutal iron-fist of repression since the late 1970s. Anybody found to have in any way undermined the rule of Kenny is seized from their home by his followers (known as 'Blueshirts) and brought to his home in Islandeady where they mecilessly tortured.


Mayo contains two centres of pilgrimage, Croagh Patrick which is a pagan site that is for reason visited by Catholics, and Knock a small village whos inhabitants fooled people into believing the Virgin Mary had appeared there. They followed this by building an airport in the middle of a bog which is named 'Knock Airport' despite the fact its in Charlestown. This is a notorious aiprort that was build without planning permission by father James Horan. This of course overlooked by fellow Mayo native Charlie Haughey and substatial state coffers were then poured in. It has won Mayo Airport of the year 5 times since its opening in 1985.

Due to the need for vital infastructure developments in the Eastern region Mayo road infastructure had been laregely abandoned until recent developments lead to the Ballina Castlebar Motorway this has shortened journey times between the two towns by up to two days.

Next: Sport in Mayo

Sport in Mayo

GAA
Mayo footballers have been very successful winning every All-Ireland title since 1951, except in 1999 when the team fell foul to a mild dose of smallpox. The team was recently managed by nobody Blueshirt John O'Mahoney who is from Kilmovee/Ballaghaderreen/Cant decide and who is also a TD. By seizing control of both politics and sport he hoped to eventually take control of the country in a bloody coup as he seceterly hates Blueshirt Leader Enda Kenny. This of course led to failure and John O Mahoney is currently in an unspecified location some where in Islandeady.

Among the most prominent players in the county is Conor Mortimer who is known for his love of Micheal Jackson, his perfect spelling, his safe driving, and his extreme modesty. Other famous players include Willie Joe Padden who struck so much fear into Galwegians that they "hadn't a hope of batin Mayo" and Ciaran McDonald as well known for his luscious blonde locks as his superb footballing ability.


Mayos hurling record is poor mainly because the technology required to make hurls is not available. But the lack of Hurls still doest deter the Mayo men from playing the game resulting in the famous 0-00 0-00 draw with fellow hurling heavy weights Roscommon.


Soccer
Local sides manchester United and Liverpool FC have been very sucessful in recent times. The Most notable was Liverpools capture of the Champions League which led to a one week public holiday for all citizens of Mayo. Fans gather at local hostileries on match days to chant "Who are ya" Man United fans mock rival Liverpool fans about their lack of work ethic and notorious repuation for being con men and Liverpool fans mock the man united fans about thier manc accents.

Winter Olmpics 2026
Mayo has started bidding for the 2026 Winter Olympics since 2000 along with some help with surrounding countries of Ireland.The 12 host citys if Mayo win the bid are Achill Island Ballina Ballycroy Belmullet Ballyhaunis Castlebar Claremorris Innisbiggle Island Louisberg Swinford and Westport.Losing applicants include Mullranny Newport Ballymory Ballintubber Kilmovee and The Neale

offical site here
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Great stuff Peter!! Keep 'er llit. Nightlife, wildlife, choice of car .......

Entertainment
Statistics revealed by the CSO has shown that per capita Mayo have more alcoholics then people. In light of this shocking revelation the Mayo communist party headed by Enda Kenny initated some extra ciricular activities to keep the natives away from the porter and the cousins.


The opening of the first communal swimmning pool at a cost of 5 million euro led to great excitement. Pee Flynn and Daughters construction company was thanked at the opening for their splendid construction work and attention to detail. Thousands showed up to get a climpse of the modern wonder


Other atractions in Mayo include Welly throwing, sheep shearing and impressing the ladies doing tricks with their modes of transport

following on from Enda's crackdown on the drinking. poitin making facilities were closed down throughout the county. Including this one outside westport. This crack down led to inter family hostilities unmatched by even the Civil war.


With drinkin in the county at an all time low, many made the migration to Copper face jacks in Dublin with the ladies in search of "Wavin" and the lads in search of young talent. Indeed the Mayo ladies have made a great impression on the celebs and IT people in Dublin.

Cracking stuff from the Mayoman here.....Will there be a chapter on the exploits of Cora Staunton?????

It leaves the paltry effort about Dublin from the combined talents of the Metropolitan double act in the shade....

What ever became of Peter?

Brilliant thread this, only just seen it thanks to Loyal! We definately need Peter to complete the guide to Mayo!

For some reason I missed this thread until now. Brillant. where is he? Has he taken the shilling and got a transfer to Parnells?

Paddyogall might know his whereabouts.

Loyal2TheRoyal wrote:What ever became of Peter?

Online today I see. Will this wonderful cultural epic gather fresh legs I wonder.

Welcome back PSTG.....

brilliant thread

"We're going to show them how to run the country" is in there.....
Lunatics in charge of the asylum ....

Poor oul' Pee Flynn has had better days as this blast from the past shows.

Added here for the benefit of younger members.

Smashing doc on RTE this evening regarding Mayo's famine. Excellent stuff with comments from the late Dermot Earley, John O'Mahony, TJ Kilgallon, the bould Willie Joe amongst others.....If you've an interest in football and nothing else to do enjoy it....I did.

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That voyeur "mayo mick" sticks his snout in again today I see.......

Here Mick....buy a paper or post something.

In advance of the Mayo/Tyrone thread, it appears that 1 of them Mayo girls have found employment. I'm probably imagining things, but I feel Essie's soft heart in here ,   somewhere.....John Pa was hard done by...

Boxtyeater wrote:That voyeur "mayo mick" sticks his snout in again today I see.......

Here Mick....buy a paper or post something.

He was here yesterday again. I'd venture he's keeping his powder dry until he sees how Sunday week goes.

Thomas Clarke wrote:

Boxtyeater wrote:That voyeur "mayo mick" sticks his snout in again today I see.......

Here Mick....buy a paper or post something.

He was here yesterday again.  I'd venture he's keeping his powder dry until he sees how Sunday week goes.

Jaysus TC you're a veritable internet policeman. You translated Boris' opinion yet? I think you got a mention.