Medical matters...more bad news, allegedly.

I was in the town today and met the Doctors receptionist, casually, on the street around the 2 mark..She said "Boxty, your NCT is due around now, it being around your birthday, why not come in"
Boxty rambled up (after a half-one for fortification) to greet herself and meet the "New Partner" in the practise..***

A grand lad, 30ish, who kicked off with the B/P test....105/96....Allegedly very bad start...(This is all B/S to me)..but we carry on..Not Good.
Cholesteral...7.9...Ouch!....near record figure there, says he, grinning smugly..Cnut.....Not Good.
Weight....According to this bollix 35kg (How much is that) overweight...Not Good.
Exercise....Well, says I, I'd give a few hours a week playing.....Squash says he..nah! says I, the oul' accordeon...Not even funny.
Diet....Well, says I, (again) t'would be seasonal, summertime, a bit of porridge at 7 and nothing till noon(ish), but wintertime I'd eat an oul' fry around 11..Not Good.
Alcohol....Hmmmm says I, social drinker was the kindliest box, so I clicked that....An atopted version of my activities were met with a discerning frown...Not Good.
Smoking....Hmmmm again...A lifetime consumer of Sweet Afton, even the cutback to imported failed to impress...Not Good.....

"Come back Monday if you're here" was his parting comment, Himself will see you...Cnut...

***"Himself is (allegedly) in a home for the Bewildered after a proposed mega-development in Ballinamore went tits-up.....

Boxty is considering skipping the fry after the cattle are done in the morning.....considering mind you....

Dr. Goldstein gave Boxty a week to live
Boxty said he wouldn't be able to pay the bill for a forthnight
Dr. Goldstein says I better give you another week then.

Sort yourself out ffs boxty. The interweb commmmmunitttttyy needs you alive.

Boxtyeater wrote:the B/P test....105/96....

This just means you been leaking gas for the last 100 odd years or so.
To be fair to your Doc Boxty, most of us on here thought it was a lot longer than that.

A lifetime of frolics in the likes of Park House combined with a fetish for milking cows will catch up with a man

Don't tell him about this place cos if comes on and reads your ramblings he'll have you sectioned.

ps Have ye e'er a bit of land for a bungalow that you could bequeath JC ..... you should ramble down to the solicitor and make them changes now. Don't forget to include me in ....

Jayo Cluxton wrote:ps Have ye e'er a bit of land for a bungalow that you could bequeath JC ..... you should ramble down to the solicitor and make them changes now. Don't forget to include me in ....

Aren't you confusing bequeath with sell here......Go to Abbey Property Sales Ltd and get back to me....I won't be too hard on you...

I took the 'Fenagh' brother with me on the Corporate Skite last night. Should be down shortly ....

ps Don't be tight FFS ...... you can't take it with ya ....

Jayo Cluxton wrote:ps Don't be tight FFS ...... you can't take it with ya ....

He can try

i'll sort it out box if you give me the cash i will sort ye out with a cheque ya wouldnt want the men struggling with the pine now would ye?

i mena there would need ta be room left in there for yourself....

PS ... good luck with the retest never mind the dodgy breaks as long as the engine is a running she'll be grand!

Its like the NCT .... Mr B has a few fail advisories so he goes off and gets them fixed (eases off the fries and pints and cigs) and will go back and pass for another two years. The dreaded alternative is the scrappage scheme!!

Boxty if it comes to the bit is it ok if we hijack the funeral as a publicity stunt to advertise GT website - a man of your stature it will be plastered all over the RTE news and every paper in the South and beyond - would easily be the cheapest form of advertising - we would of course make a small donation to the costs of the wooden suit!!!!

Pay no heed boxty to those quacks. Was told by one of them 15 years ago that I was passed my sell by date and the fags etc would wipe me out . Guess what? He is 6 foot under for 4 years and I am still wheezing along

I was in the Vets this afternoon getting a couple of doses for cattle and paying the bill for the year to date..OUCH!!!!
I was just out the door when I bumped into an old buddy and we both flamed up 2 fags and discussed matters of local importance.....

Who rolls up in a flashy Audi A4 only this new hoor of a Doctor....The withering look he flashed at Boxty, fag in one paw and bags of agri-medicine in the other, must have indicated to him that I'd gone clean off my rocker and was now indulging in some alternative medical experiment.....

In an unplanned effort at reversing trends, I haven't had a scoop all day.....yet.

Boxtyeater wrote:I was in the Vets this afternoon

Oh I thought you meant like Vietnam vets - somewhere for old codgers to go in the afternoon now that Life at Three is no more. Good to hear you're off the sauce - your posts are making sense tonight ... nearly. You'd want to give up the fags though ... they killed many a man ......

Jayo Cluxton wrote:

Boxtyeater wrote:I was in the Vets this afternoon

Oh I thought you meant like Vietnam vets - somewhere for old codgers to go in the afternoon now that Life at Three is no more. Good to hear you're off the sauce - your posts are making sense tonight ... nearly. You'd want to give up the fags though ... they killed many a man ......

11.40 pm.....Might squeeze a couple of them cheap Guinness tinnies in before the scratcher...

On the 1500th ml on Ken here meself but will leave it at that soon ...

Speaking of beer lads if any of you ever come across Steigl Goldbreau anywhere here or abroad, try it. But be prepared to brand every other beverage you've had as p***. The nectar of the Gods..

Jonsmith wrote:Speaking of beer lads if any of you ever come across Steigl Goldbreau anywhere here or abroad, try it. But be prepared to brand every other beverage you've had as p***. The nectar of the Gods..

Must have a go at that JS but will never remember it!! Will you write it down for me?

Jonsmith wrote:Speaking of beer lads if any of you ever come across Steigl Goldbreau anywhere here or abroad, try it. But be prepared to brand every other beverage you've had as p***. The nectar of the Gods..

A search will be initiated when time permits....Up to me oxters with livestock issues for a few days.....And before you supply a smart answer, No, I'm not "borrowing" a dozen or two for the by now forgotten "Headage count"......Quare oul' days them, fookin' stock were dizzy with movement from A to B...

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Here ya go it might burn it into your memory. Now I had it on tap in Austria so I'm sure bottles wouldn't do it justice, but it was by far and away the nicest beer I have ever had.

Boxty- There was a man who lived beside us, not happy unless he was well up on everyone's business, sat in beside another local, old time farmer, notoriously secretive, in the pub one night and nodded for a pint. He took the opportunity for an uninterrupted interview and had asked his new companion at least 5 questions before I even had decorated the mahogany. Each one was brilliantly dodged, the last being "How many cows are you milking these days?" The swift reply was "All of them.."

Went for the full NCT myself the 100,000 miles one - Mater Private €350 lids - three hours - every orifce carefully oiled.
breath,Bloods,Numbers 1&2, Heart, Cardio thingy, Chest Xrays, Bits and bobs, sight, hearing, etc etc.

BP, Chest, heart, P&&sh, St%%ls,bits and bobs, etc etc all sound - BP dandy - How much do you drink in a week
25 units says I - Not too bad says he - but I'd give it a decent lash at the weekend says I.
Cholestrol 3.2 of the bad stuff needs a watching brief but no big deal
We also looked at your ESR, Heamoglobin,HCT,MCV,MCH,MCHC,ESR,Sodium,Pottasium,UREA,Creatinine,Platelets,Albumin,Billrubin,Calcium,Inorganic Phosphate,Triglyceride, PSA, Ferrsin, Urate and they all seem fine.
Sound Doc so im on me way and all Okay
No says he just one small hiccup
Whats that says I
Your ALT was a bit high - Me what says I - One of the Liver Function tests says he
OK doc on a scale of 1-10, 1 being nearly OK and 10 being Georgie Best what does that mean
About a 3 says he.
nothing to worry about says he - Just stay off the Sauce for 6-8 weeks and get it re-tested we will take it from there.

All fine and Dandy - Am going to go without every Tuesday for a year - should do the trick.

OMAR wrote:Went for the full NCT myself the 100,000 miles one - Mater Private €350 lids - three hours - every orifce carefully oiled.
breath,Bloods,Numbers 1&2, Heart, Cardio thingy, Chest Xrays, Bits and bobs, sight, hearing, etc etc.

All fine and Dandy - Am going to go without every Tuesday for a year - should do the trick.

Jesus, I wouldn't care to chance that one, the poor hoor doing it might have a heart attack. That would be based on rigorous test, not Boxtyish evasive answers or downright misrepresentation of facts...

Number 2 sounds like the proper approach all right...

Herself was whining about the state of the kitchen...antiquated, dilapidated etc.,...
"Fook it" says Boxty, its lasted 60 fookin' years, since the oul' pair's time..'Twill do our day...Nah! says the WO, spurred on by our daughter, whom, I feel is playing the "Daddy's favourite girl" card.....
Faced with a potential re-fit cost of €5-10k. Boxty had a swift re-evaluation....I procured a lock of worktops (discontinued lines) from an ol' buddy (Gunner Woods)...€25, plus pints later on and yesterday commissioned the Crane for the fitting....
The hoor disconnected pipes, flooded (well partially) the kitchen and generally made a balls of the whole house. ..I slung the hoor €50 and he's off on the skite.

The War Office is mightily impressed with the job, but the Crane has exposed areas that require painting, hence the whole kitchen needs a lick , not to mention the oul' presses.....
No fookin' dinner, as yet, due to cleaning up duties, hence on here and she's mentioned a "full paint job"....

When I get a break, I'll have a conny word with Dan the Dauber, I might get out under €200 all told..........Bad news all round..

As I told ya earlier in this thread ya can't take it with ya. There is great value in kitchens these days. The moosus now has a state of the art job - even a dishwasher (JC now redundant ). Walnut and cream - drawers in drawers, top range cooker, fridge, new washing machine that talks to ya, a big island, Franke sink, filtered water with reverse osmosis (whatever TF that is), JCs kegerator. She doesn't know herself and I expect to reap the bounty as soon as she finishes that basic cookery course I've enrolled her on ...

Spend the money outta that ya tight wad!