What to do now.....The Crane's difficulties.

I was out and about the last lock of days horsing out them Census forms and arrived at the abode of the Dauber on Friday evening. Bridie (Mrs.D) was only delighted to see me and said that Dan has not "been himself" since the party's rejection by the electorate..(Boxty didn't witness Dan's appetite for loose porter diminish) so I can only assume that his bad form is down to not getting an appointment to a State board...The Arts Council would have suited him

As I was imbibing a little refreshment Dan returned and we mooched outside for a bit of a chat. He was apparently in the local hardware the other day and the owner enquired about the whereabouts of the Crane. Dan then proceeds to recall an evening when the three of us were having a few pints after a removal and he says that I confirmed to the hardware owner the "soundness" of the Crane. Mind you, my recollection is of Dan singing his praises, but we'll let it pass.

It now seems that Dan weaseled out the fact that the Crane has "a dog tied" in the hardware and is only coughing up dribs and drabs. A call to the Crane abode ensued and Junior mournfully informed us that a stuck up bitch at the lower end of the parish got him to put in additional central heating before the Christmas and has only paid about half the money and he's owed €900 of which there's now €470 due to the hardware. Several calls have proved useless, but it transpires that the Crane has never, on any of these missions, met her husband who should be genuine enough. (She proffered Dauber a couple of boogie €50's at the back end of last year) but the Dauber would have a better eye for one of them than she would.

To summarise, wait for it, Dan tells the Crane not to worry about the hardware, myself and Boxty are now taking over matters in general. (What a guy)..
Back to the village for a consultation. Dan is up for a very aggressive approach. The use of a bullhorn from the road crossed his mind. The next plan was to bring the Crane along for a service call and disconnect the whole job and leave them high and dry. A postcard from Ballinamore outlining the amount due was next. By this time Dan was firing off half-ones and appeared ready for a first visit to the house. He next suggested a visit to Longford, where she's from, on a dirt-finding mission....Dan thinks quare thoughts when on the whiskey...I managed to calm him down and postpone matters for a few days.

Advice welcome. The family are decent people and a public humiliation is not on the cards....yet.

Boxtyeater wrote:It now seems that Dan weaseled out the fact that the Crane has "a dog tied" in the hardware and is only coughing up dribs and drabs.

Is the Crane a tie the dog to the table man?????


The auld lad has regailed me with many a yarn about such a thing

Simple ... torch her gaff .....

I often spent more on a night out-hardly worth fighting for..

Jayo Cluxton wrote:Simple ... torch her gaff .....

Not torch, brick.


I did not understand a word or this anyways though so

Print up some fake tickets for a draw and yourself and the Crane go to her door and sell her one, only a fiver, 3 grand prize money. Have the Crane call her and tell her she has won the 3000, he tells her he has a Cheque made out to her for the full amount and whenever she calls up to the house with the full amount owed he'll hand it over to her. If she requests that he take the money out of the total he says the cheque is made out already, if she says she will pay once it clears he says he would rather get the money first and he will not be moved on this point. Get the money and when she asks for her cheque close the door in her face.

Jaysus JS - I think Boxty said she was a stuck up bitch - not a fooking brain dead one! Mind you, it wouldn't happen in Cavan!

Jayo Cluxton wrote:Jaysus JS - I think Boxty said she was a stuck up bitch - not a fooking brain dead one! Mind you, it wouldn't happen in Cavan!

It's the core of a perfect plan, when a Pillar of the Community like Boxty arrives at your door selling tickets for a good cause you don't suspect foul play!.. Then you rely on her greed to blind her from the truth.

Alternatively you send her a letter demanding full payment within the 7 days after which legal proceedings will be brought and she will incur the expenses..

Itbut it transpires that the Crane has never, on any of these missions, met her husband

________________

I suspect that the Cranes hesitancy inbringingthis matter to boxtys attention would be an area that requires further investigation by all parties.

There may be more to these assignations than meets the eye.

OMAR wrote:[I suspect that the Cranes hesitancy inbringingthis matter to boxtys attention would be an area that requires further investigation by all parties.

There may be more to these assignations than meets the eye.

Nothing untoward going on as you inferred Omar, the same wan' has a face on her that would turn back a funeral. The Crane would be a spot-on guy....
The Dauber and himself have managed to super-impose the relevant invoices onto a hardware billhead bearing the Daubers name (photocopy)...Dauber's story is that the originals are "with the accountant"..
Dan will hear no talk of further letters/calls and suggested a confrontation outside the school tomorrow evening FFS...I've talked him out of this for the moment. He seems to have been doing some sleuthing work all day, as he has her movements off to a tee. She drives a Jeep thingy and smokes a fag out of a long holder yoke while wearing sunglasses at 9.10am. (The fog was a terror at that time he reports).
We have, however, paid the bill to the hardware to destress the Crane and Dan says the entire matter is now ours to resolve...He plans to inform her that the hardware were reluctant to fund the materials and Crane sought his assistance so ergo the rads etc. are essentially his.

After school tomorrow for the next instalment. We both feel that the hubby would cough up in a flash but Dan wants "to bate it outa' the bitch"...

There is a lad in cavan that has a shop that sells timber flooring.
For a while he started putting up a lage notice on the window with the names and amounts of his ten longest outstanding debtors.
Not sure if it did any good - Nama and all that

____________
But confrontation is not the approach for these sunglass "My poo don't smell" wearing types - words like
parish bulletin - protests outside the bridge club and mention of stubbs gazette can do wonders.

Another possibility is that you threaten to "factor" the debt to the Granard "credit Union".

OMAR wrote:There is a lad in cavan that has a shop that sells timber flooring.
For a while he started putting up a lage notice on the window with the names and amounts of his ten longest outstanding debtors.
Not sure if it did any good - Nama and all that

____________
But confrontation is not the approach for these sunglass "My poo don't smell" wearing types - words like
parish bulletin - protests outside the bridge club and mention of stubbs gazette can do wonders.

Another possibility is that you threaten to "factor" the debt to the Granard "credit Union".

I'm warming to the idea of confrontation at some public parochial event all right OMAR, but the Dauber is bulling for action after school tomorrow. We'll mull over your worthy suggestion, a public spat would only delight Dan in the mood he was in last night....
Please God he's not reefing whiskey at home and up to his theatrical antics....Picture the scene...Bridie as the debtor, Davy Dauber as Crane and Danny Dauber Jnr. as Boxty....Dauber in his best Bull McCabe role...

Divine Jesus, I'd swear he's rehearsing as we speak...

The more I picture the endgame of this one, the more I see flashes of episodes of Last of the Summer Wine ....

This business came to an amicable and satisfactory conclusion by means of a phone call to Dauber's abode Tuesday morning to come and collect the monies due....
As Boxty outlined in the body of the post, these are decent people and it now clear that matters outside of normal controls came into play, which laid the foundations for the impassé. All's well that ends well and the matter is done and dusted.....

All parties would agree that it would be remiss of me to conclude without mentioning a noble act of generosity, above and beyond the call of duty, toward the Crane family for their patience and understanding by the other party.

However, the sight of a soundly drunken Dauber presenting the Crane family with one of these €60 Easter eggs and making a bit of a speech about "All being Europeans and all in this together" lark around 11 o'clock at night was a sight to behold...

The placement of 2 large Jemmys in front of Dan and myself last night by the publican with the message "For the lover of boxty and detective Dan" tells it all......

This internet is a quare place I can assure you.....

So the Cranes got their Compo - told you it was like the Last of the Summer Wine. Boxty & Co's suspicious and capricious minds and untrustworthiness when dealing with honest taxpaying folk such as the 'bitch' badly exposed here .....

Get Jayo or Mullins to have a word with them.. Dubs have a way of being "persuasive"...

Royal_Girl2k9 wrote:Get Jayo to have a word with them.. Dubs have a way of being "persuasive"...

Mullins does not believe in
Bullying

mullins wrote:

Royal_Girl2k9 wrote:Get Jayo to have a word with them.. Dubs have a way of being "persuasive"...

Mullins does not believe in
Bullying

Bullying is an act which occurs more than once Or do you make a habit of these things?

Royal_Girl2k9 wrote:Get Jayo or Mullins to have a word with them.. Dubs have a way of being "persuasive"...

Eh .... its sorted ....

Jayo Cluxton wrote:

Royal_Girl2k9 wrote:Get Jayo or Mullins to have a word with them.. Dubs have a way of being "persuasive"...

Eh .... its sorted ....

No limbs lost

mullins wrote:

Jayo Cluxton wrote:

Royal_Girl2k9 wrote:Get Jayo or Mullins to have a word with them.. Dubs have a way of being "persuasive"...

Eh .... its sorted ....

No limbs lost

Good